Thursday, June 20, 2013

"And the TONY Award for Best Director Goes To...."

So, just finished watching the Tony Awards, and if you are my friend on Facebook (presuming I haven't blocked you), you were subjected to my running dialogue of posts, comments, and general annoying statements. It is the one night I actually pull the "I paid for this huge, damn flat screen TV and surround sound, so get the hell out of the family room everyone" card and glue myself to the screen and Neil Patrick Harris for the next three hours. I love the sampling of plays and musicals and really, I fancy myself some big shot producer merely perusing the next big hit. True, some of past years winners of Best Plays and Musicals HAVE made it onto The Paper Wing Theatre stage eventually, but for the most part, it's all just me playing pretend. And pretend I do.
My Mother introduced me to the Tony Awards when I was very small. I loved the sneak peek feel of the musicals and plays and loved to watch the people winning. I really liked the speeches. And so, in true Tony spirit, I present to you my "If I ACTUALLY was on Broadway and Won" acceptance speech for best Director.
"Wow, what an HONOR!(because they always say that). I would like to thank the other nominees in this category; it is truly because of wonderful  Directors like yourselves that I stand here. (also this gets said a lot). I would like to thank all of the actors who came prepared to audition and didn't need to ask to start the song over. I would also like to thank the actors who left their personal drama at home and made the experiences a true delight. This Tony is for the actors who DIDN'T start dating at the opening of the show, only to break up by second weekend, and finally graduate to the "I can't stand him/her; can you please fire him/her" stage. For the actors who DIDN'T stop every rehearsal to argue or to tell me how their character would not walk onstage left because of some traumatic backstory, this goes out to you.
To all my Tech people who bring that little extra something to the productions, I thank you for NOT condescending me when you are speaking "techie" and I have to ask for clarification. To the choreographers who DIDN'T  ignore my pleas of: "For God's sake, keep it simple; these actors aren't dancers!!!".
To the musical directors and band, thanks for NOT interjecting your opinions of the show, particularly the actors performances, during rehearsal; we couldn't do it without you.
To my three boys: Thank you keeping all tantrums, arguing, and fistfights to a minimum at home, and for loving the theatre as much as your parents, but in a much more healthy, less obsessive way.
To my friends in the theatre and beyond: a big thank you for the laughter, the meals, and for NEVER using your proximity to me to negotiate/wheedle/nag/hassle me for a role.
To my weird and wonderfully creative hippy parents, especially my Dad, who DIDN'T have a major coronary when I switched to English major in college, so I could teach theatre.
And finally, to my co-producer and sweetheart +Lj , thanks for very rarely saying "I told you so", for the stress headache massages, for loving and hating the dream right there with me, and for being in love with a crazy drama queen."
There it is. And if by some miracle I do get to take my happy ass to Broadway and then to the Tonys, I promise this will be the speech.

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